


Miracushrek

by GradeACrybaby



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Graphic, Holy Memes, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, If You Like Miraculous You Won't After This, Memes, Ogredrive, Oh My God, Onions, Please Kill Me, Teen Romance, What Was I Thinking?, troll fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GradeACrybaby/pseuds/GradeACrybaby
Summary: I hate myself, I can't bear to publish this...but, f*ck it. I wrote this piece of garbage overtime and I'd like to terrify the world with it. Enjoy. (You won't)





	

Marinette could feel her heart beating out of her chest. Adrien stood leaning against her bedroom doorway, as she clutched the flowers so generously given to her by Adrien-kun. She tried to stay somber, but her faced flushed red.   
“Thank you, Adrien-Senpai…” She cooed bashfully, fluttering her eyelashes. She opened her mouth to speak once more, but he was already gone. “Oh Adrien-kun…” Her eyes stared out into darkness, with one finger poised over her lower lip.  
She turned and sat down in her chair, opening the drawer underneath. Her hand searched for something, her fingers tracing over things Marinette thought she’d lost. Finally, she pulled something out.  
Before her was an old box, with a picture of Shrek on it. She stared deep into the eyes of the Shrek on the box, each blink a wisp of longing.  
Her hand returned to the drawer, as she pulled out a key. It was a rusty brass key, with one word engraved in the side.   
Memes.  
Marinette's hand was shaking now, as she tried to stick the key into the box’s keyhole. Finally, with a turn of her wrist, the box opened.  
“Adrien-kun...what would you think of me if you found out?” She cried, her bottom lip trembling. For inside the box, she was greeted by…  
Memes.  
Some of them were old, some of them were new. She dug threw the box, desperately trying to find something. Her hand had just grabbed the tip of the picture when she heard the voice behind her.  
“What are you doing in my swamp?” The Scottish voice shot up her spine.  
It was too late.  
“Marinette.” She couldn’t move. She couldn't breathe. “You have betrayed me.”  
“I know, Senpai! I’m eternally in your debt!” Marinette cried.   
“Who was that boy?” Shrek asked. But Marinette knew. He already knew. Senpai knew everything.  
“Don’t hurt him, Senpai! He doesn’t know about the book!” Marinette sat on her knees, crying.  
“Your lover has seen too much of the meme world.” He boomed.   
For a second, everything was silent. Marinette cupped her hands over her mouth. Senpai had to spare his life.  
“He doesn’t! He truly doesn’t! Why must you torment me this way, Senpai?!?” Marinette sobbed. Her fingers were digging into her stomach.  
“I know everything, Marinette-chan. Are you questioning my authority?” He said, his tone more gentle.   
Marinette shook her head vigorously, her salty tears flying everywhere.  
“Marinette-chan?” Shrek turned his head towards her once again. “How dare you call another Senpai!”  
That was it. He knew. Of course he knew. It was all ogre.   
And just as he appeared, Shrek was gone again. Surely off to punish Adrien for Marinette’s betrayal towards the one true Senpai. 

 

It’s All Ogre Now, Adrien-kun!

“Why won’t she notice me, Plagg-kun?” Adrien was practically pulling his hair out. “All I want is for Ladybug-Senpai to notice me!” He cried.  
“Why are you acting like you’re from an anime? WEEB!” Plagg whined. “Stop crying over her and GIMME MORE CHEESE!”  
When Adrien breaks down, he has a chronic thirst to watch Bee Movie over and over.  
“THIS IS THE 420th TIME THIS WEEK! WE ARE NOT WATCHING THIS MOVIE ANYMORE!!” Plagg screamed throwing the DVD across the room.  
RIP Bee Movie DVD: 1999-2016.  
“Plagg-kun, I just want to see her again…” His voice was still and emotionless. He truly had never felt the same about anyone.  
“Hey...we should go on patrol.” Adrien nodded, walking towards a window. He was just about to call on his kwami, when something zoomed up to the window.  
“L-ladybug?” He stuttered, staring out his window.  
“Ladybugs are like onions.” Shrek-Senpai hung there, just barely fitting into a Ladybug costume.  
“She’s never looked so beautiful…” Adrien stared in amazement.  
“Believe all ogre again, Adrien-kun!” He shouted in his robust Scottish accent.  
“I have to go, Ladybug-” Adrien stammered, running towards the door. Almost instantly, he slammed it shut.  
“Plagg! Claws out! NOW!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. “She looks so perfect...tonight’s the night I finally impress her!”   
Chat Noir-kun made his way down the steps into his main living area, sneakily doing so to not draw any attention to himself. Out the back of his abode he ran to find Ladybug-Senpai having a hard time squeezing through his window.   
“She looks so peaceful….” Overwhelmed by Shrek-chan’s beauty, he couldn’t speak.  
“L-let’s be on our way, M’lady!” 

 

 

A Beauty So Ogrewhemling

 

“Here come dat Marinette!” All the kids shouted, pointing at Marinette riding to school on her unicycle.  
All she could think of was Adrien-kun. Where was he now? Dead for sure. Bleeding, being tortured, facing the death by the seconds. Shrek-Senpai could never spare a non-meme.  
“I’m Rick Harrison and this is my meme shop.”   
Huh? Who said that?  
Adrien-kun stood there, looking danker than ever. This surely must be a mind trick! It truly couldn’t be real! Had Shrek finally converted him to the meme side?  
“It couldn’t happen. Not now. It was too early. He was so young and innocent! Yet, Shrek-Senpai continued to torment me by meme-ifying everyone I loved. First Alya, next Nino, now him. He was too pure to exist in this world without falling to Shrek-Senpai.”  
“Watched Bee Movie this weekend.” He boasted. He was no longer wearing his usual outfit. Instead, a sexy outfit, showing his curves and good looks. He finished his outfit off with a smug pepe on a hat. He smiled, showing his bright white teeth with a usual smirk, teasing almost. Like saying “You can’t have all this milkshake.”  
She did want it. She licked her lips in anticipation.   
He then strolled over to Chloe, completely bypassing Marinette.  
“Well Helloooooooo good looking” He said, “I know you want some of this shrektacular meme-ness. You could be my meme-queen.”   
Staring into his eyes, she passed out, finally her dream would come true. He would be her senpai, the meme king.  
Then in anger, Marinette stomped over to Chloe. She grabbed a pair of newly sharpened scissors from one of the students next to her, then killed Chloe with a single stab in the heart. All while screaming, “FOR SENPAI!” There lay Chloe’s body, leaving an everlasting stain of blood, coating the sidewalk. No one came to help her, everyone was glad she was dead! (:  
Adrien stared at Marinette in amazement. There love was real. Not even Chloe could break their hearts, even from in the dank pit of the underworld that was called Barry’s Bee World, his queen was Barney the Dinosaur, and son was Elmo.   
The two walked together, joined hand and hand.  
When they made it out, at that point, school had ended. Alya was very happy. She then quickly shook of the amazement and responded by saying, “YES! Hey guys, I have been meaning to ask you, do you wanna have a celebration party at my house to celebrate killing Chloe? I already invited Nino.”  
They all nodded their head, and casually walked to her house. When they got there, Alya dug in her drawer.   
“What are you looking for?” asked Nino.   
“You will see.” Replied Alya. She then pulled out a box, but not any box. It was Marinettes box.  
SHREKS BOX.  
THE MEMEBOX.  
Marinette lunged for it. Suddenly longing for the contents of the box. She would not.. No… COULD NOT, let anyone else see her treasure. Too late. Everyone was suddenly transfixed by the glowing of the box as Alya opened the lid. They stood and watched as she did the whole process.  
“Shrekanamee, Shrekenenameee…” Alya chanted, holding her meme summoning box.  
“It’s almost ready...all we need is a sacrifice.” They all gulped, but they would do it for Shrek. They would die for Shrek.   
“It is time. We shall let Shrek decide who becomes his next ogre slave in the meme underworld.”   
Suddenly, the room began to shake. Candles flying across the room in a flash of light. Alya walked over to a skull and pulled out a ritual knife.  
“SHREKANAMEE, SHREKAISLOVE, SHREKAISLIFE! She screamed, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.  
“May my body be a host to the memelord Shrek!” She bellowed, starting to levitate off the ground.  
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!?” Alya’s voice suddenly dropped down an octave, and she instantly developed a robust Scottish accent.  
“OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS!” Shrek/Alya-Senpai’s voice echoed throughout the house. Slowly, she raised a finger, pointing it directly at Adrien-kun.   
Marinette instantly panicked. In her dazed state, she threw herself in front of Adrien-Senpai, as the ritual knife pierced through her heart. She dropped down, appearing to be dead. Her eyes flashed white, like car lights as her skin color turned to a pea green.  
Alya fell to the floor, her eyes rolling back. She looked exhausted. Marinette-Shrekpai laid there on the floor, dead eyed. Alarmingly, Alya’s mouth unhinged like a snake, as Shrek crawled out.   
He stood there, staring deep into the children’s souls. He grabbed Marinette~Shrekpai and stuffed her down his mouth, swallowing her whole. After that, the children lived happily ever after in an insane asylum. 

 

PART 2  
The voices...they never stop. Always calling odd chants such as, “doggos who borked 3 tims and overdosed into maximum borkdrive.” or even, “According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. It’s wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” It probably had something to do with them switching out the oxygen for dank memes in the asylum.  
“Jet fuel can’t melt dank memes…” Alya whimpered. The Gnome Child torture was getting to her.   
Nino had already died after suffocating on dank memes.   
The torture and destiny that Shrek put out for them after killing Marinette had finally got to them. None understood them for the truth.   
The memes had come with Shrek to take over the world!  
The stupid non-memes could not understand. Instead the captured them in the unhuman asylum that they had now called their home for the past year. Not one person came to visit.  
The food was filled with ogre-ness, and the water was from the swamp. Yet people could not see nor understand the horribleness to the truth in front of their faces. Except for Alya, and Adrien. Nino too, except he was dead, so they made a shrine for him so he could watch “The Bee Movie” with them.  
The folks who run their hom made a very abnormal schedule for the odd guests.  
Wake up- 1am  
Turn on Bee movie- 1:10-6:10am (watching movie three times in that period)  
Eat the “food”- 6:10-7:00am  
Talk of Memes - 7:30am  
Watch Bee Movie- 7:30-12:00am  
Sleep- 12:00 am- 1am  
They also had a very odd education system that was made up of reading and memorizing the Bee Movie script, so they could put on plays for their meme overlords every single Friday.  
To pass the time, Alya would sometimes tell stories. Today’s was especially messed up. So, she began to tell the story!

Nino and Alya sat on the couch stuffing their faces with popcorn as they watched the intense battle unfold. And as expected, Mari was DEFINITELY winning. Suddenly, Alya’s ringtone went off. With a panicked look on her face, she tried to pick up as fast as she could, but dropped the phone on the ground. Luckily, it didn’t break.

“Uh, babe, why is your ringtone the Jay Jay The Jet Plane theme?” Nino questioned, pointing at the phone.

Her face flushed red. “Uh...no reason…” She stammered, running out of the room.

“How dare you insult Jay Jay~Senpai…” She glowered. “So be it. The time has come-TO AVENGE JAY JAY THE JET PLANE!” Alya screamed, grabbing the dullest knife in the kitchen.

She rocked her way back to the living room, everyone staring at her. Alya didn’t hesitate to complete her mission. Instantly, she jumped on Nino, stabbing him in the throat and drinking the blood spewing out from his neck.

Adrien and Marinette screamed, trying to run away. But it was already too late. Alya knocked them both out with a quick blow to the head.

Where am I?

Adrien and Marinette sat dazed on the ground, but they couldn’t feel their limbs. What had happened to them?

Although they were terrified, they slowly opened their eyes to see they weren’t made of flesh and bones anymore, but rather metal and screws. They were jet planes. 

They had the stubby body of a small plane, much like the Jay Jay the Jet Plane Alya was describing earlier, except their faces remained, sewed onto the front of the plane.

They opened their mouths to cry out for help, but as they did, the Jay Jay the Jet Plane theme song blared out as they sang against their will. They desperately tried to shut their mouths, but they couldn’t. The song just blared on, and on, and on...for constant hours, days, weeks, it felt like.

Finally, they were caught off guard when they heard another voice begin the chorus of horror.

The sun is rising high up over TarryTown…

Friends taking off and friends touching down…

That’s where you’ll find...a one of a kind…

They suddenly recognized the voice as it emerged from the shadows. 

Jay Jay…Jay Jay The Jet Plane!

Alya. But it wasn’t Alya anymore. It was Jay Jay...Jay Jay The Jet Plane. 

That’s me!

“And that’s where babies come from!” 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, I'm very proud of you. I hate everything. I'm going to jump off a balcony now, goodbye!


End file.
